I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
While I have not read Dune, I’ve heard this excerpt quoted many times. I like to think that the passage refers to fear in the same way that FDR did in his First Inaugural Address (“…only thing we have to fear is fear itself”). I’m not sure if the emotion of fear ought to be the topic of focus, though. Perhaps a better piece of vocabulary to describe these thoughts is that apprehension ought to be avoided. Sure, apprehension is a synonym of fear, but I like to think of apprehension as that creeping feeling of unease, telling you that something bad is about to happen.
Oftentimes, this feeling comes and goes without incident. Other times, however, it may be the last warning sign you had before something catastrophic happened (and that you should’ve yielded to it). This is why I believe that paying attention to some degree of fear is, not only healthy, but beneficial to each of us. Animals have developed a sense of fear through eons of evolution because it has protected them. There was a reason ancient man felt fear when it came to seeing a Saber-toothed cat. Fear makes us uneasy on purpouse and triggers our flight-or-fight response. If we ignore these feelings, grave outcomes are almost certain.
This can be taken too far, of course. I have let fear get the best of me due to, either founded or unfounded, thoughts of the outcomes of not achieving what I want or of embarrassing myself in front of my peers or my family. When I was younger, I’ve turned down opportunities out of fear of not being good enough (imposture syndrome) or out of fear of having to sacrifice aspects of my comfortable life, such as free time or a light course load (back when I was going to school). I don’t recall failure being something I consciously thought about (i.e. “I’m afraid I’ll fail at this task!”). Perhaps fear of failure has motivated me to achieve more, rather than less. Rather, I argue that I’ve had problems with my behavior driven by something related to, but not, fear: anxiety.
Anxiety, while easy to confuse with fear, is (in my opinion) driven by the subconscious and has been a bigger issue for myself. Feelings of anxiety usually manifest in me when I know I am about to go out of my comfort zone. If I am about to meet a group of strangers, or even sometimes even just one stranger, anxiety rears its ugly head. This feeling is not limited to social situations, though; I have experienced anxiety over starting large undertakings on things I want to do, such as starting programming and music projects. Perhaps I subconsciously know that to get the result I want, I am going to have to complete a massive amount of work, which will take many hours over the course of several days (or longer). Perfectionism is a cruel, narcissistic plague.
Anxiety doesn’t just affect my mental space: I can sense it in my body. My breathing becomes labored and my speech pattern starts to hiccup. Getting out of this mode generally requires me to make conscious efforts to reason through the situation and ignore what the fear portion of my mind is telling me. If I am about to do something that I consider fun and familiar for me, anxiety doesn’t have such a significant grasp on my state of being. If I have to do something I do not want to do, however, I definitely need to attain a stronger grip on my emotions. I must overtly focus on the long-term goal and remind myself of the end-game rather than concentrate on the short-run circumstance.
The best solution I’ve found to overcome anxiety is deliberate practice of whatever task is making me anxious. Just like with most things in life, I think there are shortcuts which can facilitate progress better than brute force. Here are some other techniques I’ve used to accelerate the process of overcoming anxiety:
- Walking or bicycling for 30 minutes or more at a time in order to get my body (and mind) to cope with stress more efficiently.
- Talking with others about the task at hand. Tossing around ideas helps me gain perspective that I may not have had previously.
- Conduct research on the topic. After-all, knowledge is power!
- Taking breaks. I am a fan of the Pomodoro Technique as it reminds me to take frequent breaks which should let me work for longer periods of time overall.
- Avoiding distractions. When I don’t have a comfortable space to run back to for safety (such as social media, TV, video games, etc.), I am much more likely to face my fear head-on.
- Have low expectations. I don’t mean this to mean to expect failure, but merely being able to not let failure to interfere with my emotional well-being.
Ultimately, I believe calculating risk and building skills are two important aspects of assessing fear and accomplishing what you want despite experiencing typical System 1 response to new frontiers for yourself. If a goal isn’t intrinsically worth pursuing (or if the downsides outweigh the positives), then one can avoid having fear over something that is unlikely to matter. I’m not trying to be negative, but “in the long run we’re all dead.” I champion the idea of embracing change and the unfamiliar; I want to have fun with life and live for love (not fear)! 💓